This may be a stretch, but have you ever seen an old person who has no business being behind the wheel? I know it’s hard to imagine; we’re very fortunate in this country where seniors realize when they’re no longer capable of driving safely. They cheerfully hand over the keys to family members, who in turn offer to become personal chauffeurs, taking their elderly relatives wherever they need to go. “Just give a call and we’ll be right there,” they say. And life goes happily on.
Fast forward to the real world. For every realistic senior who actually does decide to stop driving at the right time, there are many more who either don’t realize there’s a problem, or feel like they can’t give up their vehicles, no matter how dangerous it might be. Some surrender after a close call, as my great aunt did after she blacked out momentarily, scraping her car against the garage wall. Or, the epiphany could occur as it did with my father, who got hopelessly lost driving in his new neighborhood and only managed to come home an hour later by enlisting the help of a friendly appliance repairman.
After that incident, he refused to drive, saying he felt too unsafe. My stepmother urged him to keep trying, saying she had the directions written down to get to and from the store, and it really wasn’t that hard—but for once my dad dug in his heels and said he wouldn’t do it. I helped them donate their car before he had a chance to change his mind.
These are the success stories; no real harm done, with people making the difficult but rational decision to give up an important part of their independence and identity. Sometimes, when seniors are less compliant, family members must resort to trickery—like hiding the keys or disabling the car. Or they might get the person’s physician to state that this patient can no longer drive.
Right across the street from our house, there’s a woman whom I affectionately refer to as the “old witch.” She’s 88, lives alone, and—yes—drives almost every day. Hunched over the wheel like a gargoyle, she literally has to stop the car in the middle of our street and get out, making sure she’s headed into her driveway. I’ve seen her trying to leave the parking lot at Trader Joes—true nightmare material. She’s backed into cars, nearly crashed into her own garage door, and yet she continues to drive.
And what have her concerned neighbors done about it? So far, nothing. Maybe people are reticent to get involved, or don’t know who to call. And underneath it all, perhaps they’re thinking, “Why doesn’t her family do something?” Of course, if she doesn’t have family in the area, there could be genuine reluctance to take away her independence. That could mean that her good neighbors might end up being asked to help her out, and nobody has time for that.
Once again, our culture’s emphasis on independence and self-sufficiency becomes a trap for the elderly—but when cars are involved, the consequences can affect anyone. Every couple of years, we see tragic news stories about an elderly driver who takes out a group of shoppers or kids walking home from school. It’s not hard to look a few years into the future, as a multitude of aging baby-boomers will be facing the same tough question, and, one hopes, answering correctly. Smarter cars and stricter laws may help, but the numbers are not on our side.
