Nowhere to go and all day to get there...

Now and then, I wonder how I’d fill my days if I didn’t work and had to spend most of my time at home. It would be a huge adjustment for me; some people seem to manage free time pretty well, but for my part I thrive on structure and deadlines.  I’m also quite social, and can only spend a few hours a day reading or puttering around the house. 

It’s been interesting for me to see how old people manage their time. My father spends most of his lying down these days, but given his situation that’s understandable.  Jeannie, with more energy and a passion for talking, does quite a bit more—but even so she seems to have barely enough tasks to occupy half her waking hours. 

A few years ago, she would volunteer at the local library, but is long past that point now. Even my father had a couple of regular activities: he’d read the newspaper aloud for a blind neighbor, and served a few terms on the condo association board. At some point, he designated himself as the “public lighting monitor” for their complex, and would make the rounds every evening to be sure the lights were all working. But now he naps, while she reads mysteries and drinks white zinfandel.

My father’s cousin in Miami leads a much more productive life. At 87, she still drives to her volunteer job at the local performance center, and takes in occasional shows. She shops and cooks, emails and talks to people on the phone and enjoys watching videos most evenings.  She even finds time to read. Interested and engaged, she’s the ideal older person we should all aspire to be.

Another woman I know stays busy, but not in a way I can imagine doing.  Over the years, she has compiled an enormous collection of musical performances, both audio and video. Thousands of tapes line her walls, and she’s catalogued every one of them (along with her books.) She then loans things out to friends while keeping a careful record of who has what. Between taping and watching videos, reading, organizing her meals and exercise routine, I’m sure she’s rarely bored. But fulfilled? I wonder…

Then again, she may be just fine. I of all people should embrace the fact that there’s no one way to live, and however strange it may seem to others, if nobody’s health and safety are compromised, practically anything goes.