“Over 90 and Loving It” sounded like it would be an inspiring program to watch, so I watched it. As expected, this PBS special showcased people in their 90s who remain active and involved—a 94 year old taxi driver, a 98 year old woman who completed her master’s degree, Pete Seeger at 90, chopping wood behind his cabin. Bandleaders leading bands, politicians running for office. You get the drift.
So was I inspired? Ultimately, no. If anything, the program was exhausting and a little pathetic. My parents watched it too, and felt similarly—in fact, Jeannie commented, “They must have really spent a lot of time finding those people—that’s not how it is for most of us.”
And so it isn’t. While it may be helpful to counter the negative stereotypes of old people so prevalent in our culture and media, a program like this does not convey an accurate picture of what most elders should expect. To give seniors (or their families) the impression that aging well is more a matter of attitude than anything else is frankly cruel.
Of course, attitude is important. It’s important to stay connected with others, with the world. People shouldn’t give up too soon, and are better off if they push themselves a little farther than they want to. Just adopting some kind of regular physical activity makes a positive difference.
But we know the best laid plans sometimes go awry. As my mother used to say, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans.” The combination most aging people face is one that simultaneously adds and subtracts—a devilish formula of new illnesses and pains, countered by diminishing strength, senses and (often) mental or creative ability.
The prospect of an intact mind trapped inside a diseased body is no more appealing than that of a fit body housing a debilitated mind.Yet most elders end up taking one of those two routes, however unwillingly. An unlucky percentage suffers through both—while only the very fortunate few manage to escape chronic physical and mental infirmity until the end.
That reality, the hard facts of aging are what make me uncomfortable with programs like “Over 90.” Having good genes is not a choice we get to make, at least not yet. The environment we live in exacts its toll on almost everyone. Avoiding toxins only goes so far: I know one man, a healthy vegan who never smoked in his life, who was diagnosed with lung cancer in his early 70s (fortunately, he survived.)
So for those who truly want to believe that aging is a subject of “mind over matter,” I say good luck and bon voyage. Just don’t be surprised when a hurricane hits.
